Cancellation Adventure!

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<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong> //Hii! This is ~Real-Time Cancellation Adventure~ It's sort of a game? Or a kind of way to think about things which would make it an essay? (in the way that everything's an essay now maybe). It's also not actually in real-time (you know how it goes: here for a bad time, not for a real-time). Anyway... a question to assess your suitability before we begin, if that's okay?//</strong></div> <span class="bigger150">Okay! [[∞->Are you?]]</span> <<audio ":all" stop>>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 500%;'><strong>//Are you INCREDIBLY ONLINE and EXTREMELY TIRED???//</strong> \ </div> <span class="bigger150"> Hmmmm... not so much. [[∞->No I'm not]] Yahhhh, I am that bitch! [[∞->Yes I am]] </span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//You are?//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Yeah... I literally just said that? [[∞->sorry you did]] </span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'>\ <strong>//Really? Wow. Good for you, I guess. I mean, what is that even like?//</strong> \ </div> <span class="bigger150">It's okay! [[∞->It's okay]] It's just who I am, no big deal. [[∞->It's okay]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//Cooool. I mean, fair enough. It's pretty admirable, actually. You know what? I think you deserve a gift for making good choices. How about a picture of something nice before you go? Do you want to see: A PICTURE OF SOFT, CUTE PUPPY or A PICTURE OF A GROTTY RAT??//</strong> \ </div> <span class="bigger150">Oh, a puppy obviously! [[∞->choose puppy]] Show me the rat. [[∞->ratwow]] </span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//WHY? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE RAT??//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Nothing! I just prefer puppies. [[∞->classic people like you]] It's a frickin' rat?? [[∞->fuck you]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//Really? The rat?//</strong></div> <span class="bigger150">Yeah, I felt bad for it. You said it was grotty [[∞ ->How dare see rat this way]] Yeah. I didn't want to go for the obvious choice. [[∞ ->How dare see rat this way]]</span>

<div align='center' style='font-size: 300%;'><strong>//WOW. WOW. WOW.//</strong> </div> <div align='left' style='font-size: 175%;'><strong>//This is SO typical. Like, who do you think you ARE? To think of the rat this way??? To use it as a prop for your own edification? You don't even know ANYTHING about this rat!! Is this rat just your prop??//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that! [[∞->oh really, you're sorry]] I don't know why you're getting so worked up over this... [[∞ ->fuck you]] Hey, c'mon it's just a gross little rat. [[∞->fuck you]]</span>

<div align='center' style='font-size: 300%;'><strong>//WOW. WOW. WOW.//</strong> </div> <div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//Honestly, it's people like you who are ruining the world. I bet you never even thought about the rat option! You just saw it and went 'ewwwww rat'—end of story. You never thought about the life it had or its wonderful depths. Judgey, much? Bet you've spent your whole life running liking puppies like it's no big deal.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Oh. Sorry, I didn't realise I'd done that to the rat... [[∞->oh really, you're sorry]] Hey, c'mon this is a bit much... [[∞ ->fuck you]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//OH, REALLY?//</strong> </div> <div align='center' style='font-size: 500%;'>WELL, FUCK YOU.</div> <div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//You know, I didn't want to bring this up before, but this rat that you've so casually dismissed? It actually participated in landmine detection activity and saved a million lives and won a bravery medal. A MILLION LIVES. Bet you feel really proud of yourself now, huh? If only you'd actually taken a look at this rat and not just thought of all rats as the same. You don't deserve to look upon this rat. I wish you well. Goodbye.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Nooooo. I want to look at it. I'm sorry. [[∞->rat pic]] Yes. Please release me. [[∞->release me]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//Okay, well, thank you for saying that, I guess. I appreciate it. You know, I feel the best way to get past this sort of thing is to just... you know... witness stuff. To really see the rat for who it is. So, do you want to see the rat?//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Yes, of course. That seems right. I wish to learn. [[∞->rat pic]] No. I just want mummy. [[∞->mummy rat]]</span>

<img src=" https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c6a44f48dfc8ca6f2bf4970/5f8ea42507bb71799576202c/5f8ea5427c83c57c9ac984b4/1603183986276/?format=2500w" width="75%"> <<timed 9s>><div align='left' style='font-size: 155%;'><strong>//Thanks for taking that time to look at the rat with me. It felt really beautiful and profound and like we grew as people, you know? You can go now if you like.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Yes. Please release me. [[∞->release me]] Is this feeling I'm having now what you meant earlier about being extremely online? Maybe I am now. [[∞->Are you?]]</span><</timed>>

<img src="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c6a44f48dfc8ca6f2bf4970/5f8ea42507bb71799576202c/5f8ea5142918db700a7f2e8d/1603183931135/?format=2500w" width="75%"> <div align='center' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//YEAHHHHH BET YOU DIDN'T THINK RATS COULD BE MUMMIES TOO, DID YOU??? NEXT TIME, CHECK YOURSELF.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Please, release me. [[∞->release me]] I... think I'm 'online' now and uh, 'tired', or whatever you were asking me earlier? [[∞->Are you?]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//Oh, that's sweet. Maybe! If I gather my thoughts.//</strong> </div> <div align='right' style='font-size: 100%;'><span class="popin"><strong>//You might see me in a corner, like this... //</strong> </span></div> <div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//But you shouldn't think about me right now because........... YOU'RE LATE!!//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Huh? [[∞->late]] </span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//So eager to see me go! That doesn't hurt my feelings at all. But you're right, this is your time from now on.//</strong> </div> <div align='right' style='font-size: 100%;'> <span class="popin"><strong>//Though I may pop in once in a while, like so... //</strong> </span></div> <div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//And speaking of your time............. //YOU'RE LATE!!</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Huh? [[∞->late]] </span>

...you're already running a bit late! This is only the day your life changes! It's not your fault, though. The <<cycle "$transport" autoselect>> <<option "tram">> <<option "train">> <<option "bus">> <</cycle>> was running behind. No one sitting around you has //any// idea who you are. Though from the way they're dressed, you can tell they're going to the event at the <<cycle "$location" autoselect>> <<option "city library">> <<option "plaza">> <<option "Grand Plaza - a Tyer Family philanthropic endowment structure">> <</cycle>>. Or maybe one should say, they have no idea who you are //yet//. It's all still embargoed and hasn't been announced. [[∞->Who would have thought this]]

...is WHO is giving you this opportunity to receive $prize!!! Her name, of course is <<textbox "$name" "" >>. But all anyone really needs to know is that's she's a legit <<cycle "$kween" autoselect>> <<option "kween">> <<option "ICON">> <<option "goddessss">> <</cycle>>. A proud woman of colour, she's blazed all the trails, and set the standard (or broke the standard? omg which one is it?) in your industry. It's really so generous of her to sponsor this opportunity. And not only to sponsor, but to actually //choose// the recipient. She chose //you// from all the contenders. You need to remember that! Like, take this girl sitting next to you right now who hasn't even looked up once—just been on $socialmedia from the time she got on after your stop—she wasn't chosen, was she? And hey, to be real, you're truly so //grateful// and //humbled// that this is happening for you—not merely as a fan, but as <<cycle "$ally" autoselect>> <<option "an ally">> <<option "a fellow diverse">> <<option "a person of other marginality">> <<option "a pile of bin juice">> <</cycle>>. That's what you need to focus on right now. You're not going to worry about the $transport being a bit late. You're just going to sit back and relax until you get there. Yes, just sit back and enj— [[∞->Girl announce and scream]]

<strong>//AAAAAAAAAAAAAA//</strong> The girl sitting next to you has started to scream. She looks up at you, and drops her phone. What the hell? you say. Are you okay? Everyone is turning to look at the pair of you. The girl starts shaking. No, she says. I am NOT okay. Gasps and small screams are starting to break out around you now. You look around the $transport and you can see a few other people staring at their devices in what looks like... //shock//? What's going on? you ask the girl. The girl picks up her phone and takes a big gulp. It's $name, she says, breathing heavily. //Oh, fuck//... you knew nothing good could actually happen for you. Your heart starts to race. Oh no, you say, forcing yourself to sound calm. Is she... is $name... <<cycle "$dead" autoselect>> <<option "is she not coming to the event anymore???">> <<option "has she been in an accident!!!">> <<option "is she just //fully// dead????????">> <</cycle>> No, the girl says, shaking her head slowly. It's much, //much// worse than that. $name, she's... [[∞->CANCELLED 1]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 2s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->Cancelled 1 continued]]</span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

What? you say. I don't understand. She's been CANCELLED, the girl says louder, as if the volume of her speech was the problem. It's all over $socialmedia, she adds. You start to feel dizzy. You take a breath, and look at your phone. The words come at you fast... [[∞->First Cancel Words]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<div style="text-align:center"><span class="drunk">this is not okay always knew $name was trashhhh can't say th aekt </span> <span class="drunk">unacce ptable it 's not your language to use</span> <span class="drunk">it's violence </span> <span class="drunk"> why would you </span> <span class="drunk">this isn't l ast century tr ash</span> <span class="drunk">A JOKE???? </span> <span class="drunk">some of you need to lighten up </span> </div> <div style="text-align:center"><span class="drunk"> <span class="bigger200"> i knew $name was gonna be cancelled. does she think this is FUNNY...punch down? </span></span></div> <span class="drunk">trasj</span> <span class="drunk"> not ok ay </span> <span class="drunk">i knew $name was gonna be cancelled.</span> <span class="drunk">just cause ur rich </span> <span class="drunk">cancelle d finally</span> <span class="drunk">just a joke i bet</span> <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="drunk"> it's m y life is not ironic who speakin for <span class="bigger300"> <div style="text-align: center;"> [[∞->you open you eyes]] </div></span> how can she speak k r this isn't last c entury irony is not an excuse who programmed this </span></div> <div style="text-align:left"><span class="drunk"> <span class="bigger200">not okay //langua ge// </span></span></div>

You put your phone away and look around. The $transport is strangely quiet. Everyone is tapping away furiously on their devices. You feel overwhelmed. You turn to talk to the girl. Sorry, I— I can't quite figure out what's going on? you say. Is the event at the $location still happening—or—I'm just confused as to what's— She holds up a single finger, to silence you. You wait. //There//, she says, putting her phone away and wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. Sorry, I had to do my post. Have you done yours? My what? you say. Her eyes narrow. Your //post//, she says slowly. You're going to do your post, right? On $socialmedia? She shifts her weight. You can feel others starting to look at you. I mean, you can't just do //nothing//, she hisses. Silence only serves the oppressor. You realise you have two immediate choices. You could do nothing. [[∞->You do nothing and are cancelled 1]] or... You could get on $socialmedia and //say something//. [[∞->You say something cancellation 1]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

Yeah, //obviously// I know about the silence and the oppressors, you say. That's, like my //whole// thing. But I'm just going to need a minute to sit with it and stuff, and just, you know... yeah. The girl shakes her head. She turns away from you. You're relieved. You take a breath, a moment to figure out what's happened. Obviously, you want to do the right thing. But also, what does this mean for you? Is someone from the $location going to contact you about all this? Are they standing by $name? And is what's happened even that bad? Your phone starts buzzing wildly. //What the hell?//. You take it out and look at it. [[∞ ->You do nothing and are cancelled 1 big text]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You shoot the girl a withering glance, and hold your phone out, typing very obviously. You compose a fucking tight sentence on $socialmedia that says you're disappointed in the behaviour of this so-called $kween and that you stand with the affected party. Your forehead is damp from the effort, but you know this is what you must do. You press send, and put your phone back in your pocket. It immediately starts buzzing wildly. //Huh?// You take your phone back out and look at it. [[∞->you are cancelled from cancelling 1]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You shoot the girl a glance. She's looking at you expectantly. You turn away. This is a decision about your future and about how you want to //be// in the world. You take a breath, and draft a sentence that comes out in support of $name and that reminds people of the $kween she is. You call on everyone to be generous in their vibes, especially if they identify as $ally like you. You press send.[[∞->you feel good]]

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>YOU'RE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 2s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->You did nothign and were cancelled words]]</span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

<strong>WHAT?</strong> You spin around to face the girl. What just happened??? you ask. Why are people on here calling me a... friend of the oppressors and a... '//justice cuck//'... what the hell is a //justice cuck//?? It's when you've been cucked by justice, says a voice from the seat behind you. You snap back to see who's speaking. It's a— Hi. I'm a guy, he says. And I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with girl earlier. And when you got your phone out before I saw who you were on $socialmedia and well, I //knew// I had to say something. You really didn't, you say. And //justice cuck// doesn't even make sense. It sounds like the opposite. It sounds like I'm cucking justice. It's nonsense. No. It isn't, says girl. She smiles at guy. He smiles back. Great. Just what you need. Look, you say. I understand where you're coming from, but you have to understand... for the first time in my life something good has happened for me and it's from $name and I've loved her for being a $kween for so and I didn't want to wade into stuff before I— Your phone starts buzzing wildly. One second, you say. You look at it. [[∞->You cancelled for doing nothing 2]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

It's twelve new emails. And eleven of those appear to be from your mother. The first email is her telling you she's proud of you, and excited for you to receive $prize today. You smile.[[∞->the second mum]]

You turn around. It's the girl from before. I said, what the fuck are you smiling at? she repeats. Like, what could you have to smile about at a time like this? //Wow.// Yes you really need to check yourself, says another voice behind you. You spin around. It's a guy. Hi, I'm guy, he says, extending his hand to the girl. I'm girl, she replies, shaking his hand. Can you //believe// this chump? he says, gesturing clearly towards you. Yeah. It's just so sad how people don't care anymore, she says. Hey! Hold on! you say. Look, if you //must// know, I was just smiling about my mum. They both ignore you. You start to sweat. [[∞->whoa]]

Of course there is! you say. If we could just— No, says girl. Why not? you ask, almost crying. Girl rolls her eyes. I mean, there's no //need// to talk about it, she says. $name has been //uncancelled//. Yeah, says guy. Turns out it was, like, an 'in-community' term or something, and like, people just got it kinda wrong and, yeah. Oh, you say. You feel weak. You know, personally I just love the way $name empowers those around her, and //reclaims// shit, says girl. Totally! agrees guy. [[∞->make out]]

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>YOU'RE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 3s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->words of your cancelling]]</span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

<strong>//WHAT?//</strong>. You stare at your phone. Your hands start to sweat. You don't understand what's happening. Why— why are people calling me //the problem//? you whisper. Because you are the problem, a voice says from the seat behind you. You spin around. There's a guy looking at you. What? Who the hell are you? you say. I'm guy, he says. I'm girl, says another voice. It's the girl from earlier. You'd forgotten she was by your side. They shake hands and smile at each other. Okay, um, sorry to interrupt this, but can we get back to what's going on? you ask them. None of this makes any sense. Of course it makes sense, girl snaps. I'm one of the people who called you a problem. Actually, I think I was the first, she adds proudly. And can I just say that you're //so// brave for doing that? guy says. Thank you, she says. I was only doing what anyone would do. They smile at each other again. Okay. excuse me, but why would you do something like that? you wail at girl. [[∞->you did bad]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You stare at your phone. You can feel everyone looking at you now. The $transport hurtles towards the $location. Okay, okay, you need to be on the right side of this, or do the right thing, or both? Is that even possible? But how far are you willing to go? You could do the basics. Write an apology that acknowledges what you've done. [[∞->you try to apologise]] or... You could go properly nuclear. Reveal your stake in all this, destroy your reputation with $location probably, but put an end to any criticism and, like, stand up for what's right. [[∞->you up the game, reveal your prize.]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You take a breath and draft an apology for the short-sightedness of your cancellation of $name, while standing by the spirit of it, while simultaneously making clear that you have //heard// people. You press send. You look over at guy and girl, but they are too busy making out. //Yuck//. Finger me, girl whispers to guy. Only if you choose the finger, he whispers back. I'm a feminist, he adds. My body, your choice. You turn away quickly so as not to vomit, and look outside. Your phone starts to buzz softly, and then, more wildly. //Weird//. You take it out and look at it. [[∞->post apology reveal your cancel]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You take a breath and go right in. You call out $name, and you call out the $location. You reveal that you were going to receive $prize. And you say you don't want to anymore. You can't be bought. You press send. [[∞->forehead glistens]]

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>YOU'RE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 3s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->you put phone away]]</span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

<strong>//Uhhhhhhhh.//</strong> You stare at the phone. Your head starts to swim. <strong>//Whyyyyyyy? Whaaaat? Whhhhhy??//</strong> Wow. I can't believe you would post that, after $name has //just// been //uncancelled//, girl pipes up from behind you. Way to bring down a powerful $kween of the community. Oh, so that's it. Hang on. When did she get uncancelled? Like, $name was obviously just using an in-community term and apparently that got away from //some// people, guys says, staring at you. Yeah, it's just so insensitive and damaging what you did, says girl, shaking her head. You try to defend yourself, but the words don't form. Wait. Did you really give up the biggest opportunity of your life just then? And because of something you said on $socialmedia? You feel... exhausted. You just... need to get out of here and think. [[∞->you stumble into the street]] <<audio ":all" stop>> <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="popin"> //hiii so... if you're feeling the need for a little zoom-out...you know, i'm here.// [[∞->nextbit]] </span> </div>

You get off the $transport and stumble into the street. You take a deep breath of somewhat fresh air. It's a sunny day with a bit of cloud. You realise the $location is within walking distance. But what will you even do when you get there? You realise you've made good time, actually. After all that worry about being late. Hah, to think //that's// what you were worried about earlier today. Okay, you just need a small rest before you walk to the $location. You get off the main street, and head down one of the city's many cobble-stoned alleyways. Maybe there's a nice little cafe down there for a quick treat. [[∞ ->rest in the alleyway]]

<strong>//AAAAAAAAAAA//</strong> Guy is screaming. You jump back in your seat. Is he actually going to physically attack you? It's $name!!! girl cries. Your heart sinks. What now? She's been— [[∞->uncancelled support 1]]

<<timed 3s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>PROBLEMATIQUE //PROBLEMATIQUE// PROBLEMATIQUE //PROBLEMATIQUE//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 5s>><div style="text-align: right;">The HOTTEST new club in town</div><</timed>> <<timed 7s>><div style="text-align: center;">The doorman is a snake who is eating its own butt //a snake eating itself// //the butt is in the mouth// //the tail is the food// //this is the meaning of infinity// </div><</timed>> <p> <<timed 12s>><span class="bigger300"><strong>//PROBLEMATIQUE//</strong> </span><</timed>> </p> <p> <<timed 18s>><div style="text-align: left;">the place to be every night of every week //i hear the dancers are a troupe of rats whose tails have linked up to form a circle of ecstatic delight and sometimes the doorman eats the dancers and sometimes the dancers eat the doorman but they never stop moving the whole time//</div><</timed>> </p> <p> <<timed 24s>><span class="bigger300"><strong> NEVER STOP MOVING AT PROBLEMATIQUE //PROBLEMATIQUE// //PROBLEMATIQUE//</strong> </span><</timed>> </p> <<timed 28s>>[[∞->wake up]] <</timed>> <<audio "problematique" loop play>>

<strong>//AAAAAAAAAAAAAA//</strong> You jolt awake. <strong>//AAAAAAAAAAAAAA//</strong> Girl is screaming. Again? Wait. Hasn't this already happened? What's going on? you ask. It's $name, she's been— Oh for god's sake, you say. Not again! Didn't we just do this? What's happened now? Wow, guy says. I can't believe you expect me to educate you. Just look on $socialmedia, seriously if— Shut up, you say, and look at your phone. [[∞->words of uncancel 2]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<span class="bigger200"><span class="drunk"> //TYPICAL// </span></span> <span class="drunk"> wow knew it </span> <div style="text align: center;"><span class="drunk">fuck off</span></div> <div style="text align: left;"><span class="drunk"> has come forward </span></div> <span class="drunk">former assistant...$name</span> <div style="text align: center;"><span class="bigger200"><span class="drunk"> has come forward ASSISTANT </span></span></div> <div style="text align: center;"><span class="bigger200"><span class="drunk"> the $location MUST stop the event </span></span></div> <div style="text align: center;"><span class="bigger200"><span class="drunk"> the $location MUST stop the event </span></span></div> <span class="drunk">WHO IS BEING ISLENCE HERE FOR OCNE CAN U just</span> <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="drunk"><span class="bigger300">listen </span></span></div> <div style="text-align: righ;"><span class="bigger150"><span class="drunk">knew something lke this would</span></span></div> <span class="bigger200"><span class="drunk">former employe exploi - work </span></span> <span class="drunk"> has come forward </span> <span class="drunk">former assistant...$name</span> <span class="drunk">work -fuck should be SAFE for ever</span> <span class="drunk">cancelle d FINALLy</span> <div style="text align:left;"><span class="drunk">easy to say...but systemic PRACTICES</span></div> <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="drunk"> FINALL CAN PPL SEE...former emp </span> </div> <span class="drunk"><span class="bigger150"> <div style="text-align: right;"> it's //fucked// </div></span></span> <span class="bigger150"> <div style="text-align: right;"> can't stand for it anymore </div></span> <span class="drunk">symptom of a bigger problem </span> <span class="bigger300"> <div style="text-align: right;"> [[∞->Ah yikes]] </div></span> <div style="text-aling: right;"> <span class="drunk"> ok but this is typical in the industry i don't think it's so different like sure do we </span> <span class="drunk">$name is of a time and place you can't just </span> <span class="drunk">BELIEVe </span></div> <div style="text-align:left"><span class="drunk"> <span class="bigger200">smoke there's fire </span></span></div>

Okay, so looking at this... well, this does seem really awful, you say. But— <strong>//Move!//</strong> someone yells. People are starting to rush past you, and the $transport has stopped. Hey, what's going on? Where is everyone going? you say, turning to ask girl and guy. But they're gone. Probably already out ahead. We're marching to the $location to boycott the event! someone cries as they stream past you. Come on! But why are we walking? you call after them. Wouldn't we have gotten there quicker if we'd stayed on the $transport? I don't know! It's the vibe of the thing! The //aesthetic//! they yell back, and then they're gone. You can hear the purity and passion in their voice ringing out behind them. [[∞->you stumble and march street]]

You find yourself caught up in the crowd, right in the thick of it, marching towards the $location. You notice that it's a sunny day, with some scattered, gathering clouds. You can hear people in the throng discussing their demands. About accountability and platforms. About what's acceptable and what's not. There's liking someone or something, and then there's what we let flourish, isn't there? And that like, says a lot, doesn't it? [[∞->keep walk]]

<<timed 3s>>You hear a squeaky voice, or... is that a pair of voices speaking in unison? <</timed>> <<timed 6s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//HEYYYY!! GET OUT OF THE WAYYYY//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 8s>>Oh, sorry, you say. <</timed>> <<timed 10s>>You turn around to face the wall. You've been standing in a long doorway. Weird, you didn't see it there before. <</timed>> <<timed 13s>>It's slightly open, and a pair of... four eyes?? is peeking out. <</timed>> <<timed 16s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//WE SAID! GET OUT OF THE WAY TOOTS!//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 18s>>You stumble back. The figure opens the doorway and steps out. It's... two people(??) in one raincoat... you think... but why? <</timed>> <<timed 22s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//YES OUR BUTTS ARE STUCK TOGETHER SO WE ARE ONE WHAT OF IT????//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 25s>>Nothing, you stammer. I just didn't see you there, sorry. <</timed>> <<timed 28s>>The figure stops and looks at you. It brings its faces close to your face. It squeaks excitedly. <</timed>> <<timed 32s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//AHHHHH A CLASSIC CASE IF WE EVER SAW ONE! YOU MY DEAR ARE IN NEED OF OUR SERVICES AND WE SHOULD BE GLAD TO GIVE THEM.//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 34s>>Your what?? <</timed>> <<timed 38s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//OUR SERVICES!! WE ARE THE FINEST// APOLOGY GHOSTWRITERS //IN THE LAND!!!//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 41s>>Uh, okay. I think I'm fine... <</timed>> <<timed 43s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//YOU DARE YOU DARE YOU DARE REFUSE OUR SERVICES????????//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 46s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO DO PRO-BONO//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 47s>>I just stopped here to get a— <</timed>> <<timed 50s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//SSSSSILEEEEENCE! DO YOU KNOW THE CALIBRE OF PEOPLE WE WORK WITH? THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL POLITICIANS, THE TYER FAMILY, CHILD STARS WHO TRIED TO BE RISKY AND IT BACKFIRED, GROWN UP STARS WHO TRY TO DO SOMETHING GOOD BUT IT BACKFIRES, PEOPLE WHOSE MERE EXISTENCE IS THE CANCEL, NICE PEOPLE WE WANT TO STICK IT TO, AND STRAIGHT UP SOCIOPATHS WITH VERY NICE YACHTS WE LIKE THE CHEESE THEY SERVE ON BOARD YUM YUM OUR WORDS MAKE THEM ALL SEEM HUMAN AND REAL AND FREE THEM AGAIN//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 69s>> Oh actually that does sound like something I may need if— <</timed>> <<timed 72s>><span class="bigger300"><div style="text-align: right;"><strong>//NO! YOU WILL NEVER SEE US AGAIN AND YOU WILL NEVER REMEMBER THIS EVER HAPPENED SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK GOODBYE WE HAVE TO GO!//</strong> </div></span><</timed>> <<timed 66s>>[[∞->they try to clobber you]] <</timed>> <<audio "ghostwriter" loop play>>

You open your eyes. Your head feels swollen. //More// heavy, not less somehow. You realise you're on the ground. Is that a bite mark on your arm? You must have fallen asleep. You get to your feet. [[∞->feetup]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

But... what should you say? These are the sorts of moments that can define you. You could join in and do what's right—//is it right?//—and <strong>condemn</strong> $name. After all, it's your responsibility as part of the industry... isn't it? [[∞->You cancel the first]] or... You could actually come out and <strong>support</strong> $name. Not because of what's at stake for you //personally//, of //course//, but because you believe this kind of reaction is not helpful or right—//is it right?//—you know? [[∞->You support icon at the first cancel]]

<<if visited("You support icon at the first cancel") is 1>>\ There seems nothing else to do but walk to the $location as she suggested. It's just around the corner, after all. <<else>>You walk on to the $location, turning a corner. <<endif>>\ The steps are in sight. You go forward and join the crowd. [[∞->Arrive at the steps]]

You had expected noise and uproar, but people seem to be waiting for something. You move to the front of the crowd, close to the steps. An official from the $location is setting up a mic stand in front of you. What's going on? you ask a passing figure leaving the building. But all you hear is a squeak as they go. Wait, are they two people in one raincoat? Huh... $name is speaking soon! says a familiar voice from behind you, interrupting your thoughts. It's guy. Oh, you say, that's— The //least// she could do, but I don't even know if I want to hear it, says girl, appearing by guy's side and taking his hand. Nice to know their relationship is working out, I guess. The mic screeches. Feedback. $name must be here! You spin around. [[∞->The apology]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You stop. You let the crowd pass you. You try to still your brain. //How do you feel right now? Who... are you really?// It's clear you need to make some sort of decision, but what is the right or the smartest or the right thing to do? Your phone starts buzzing wildly. //Huh.// You take it out and look at it. [[∞->mum chat]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

The cab whizzes down the street. Your stomach starts to knot. You haven't figured out what's going to happen when you arrive. Will the $location strip you of your dreams? Will the crowd turn on you? Will you need to take a further stand? The cab screeches to a stop by the steps. You get out, and walk into the crowd. [[∞->Arrive at the steps]]

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>YOU'RE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 3s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->bymum]] </span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

<<timed 3s>> //$name leans into the mic and begins to speak...// <<next>>//at first, the crowd is tense// <<next>>//there are tuts and some boos, you almost join in...// <<next>>//but then what you can only describe as... a weird calm descends// <<next>>//and it's not totally random of course, it's in what she is saying... $name is apologising// <<next>>//and what an apology it is—// <<next>>//honest, frank, to the point// <<next>> //appropriately angry and sorrowful about her past// <<next>> //no self-aggrandising here or excuses and yet// <<next>> //in the telling it's impossible to deny her legacy and contribution// <<next>> //indeed it would be foolish to—it's intrinsic to this issue// <<next>> //you don't become this sort of $kween without having to engage with the tentacles and compromises demanded of you by the powerful// <<next>> //and also the traumas that come with her history and body, as we all know... and speaking of healing she's already begun the compensation process—to those who have been harmed whether directly or indirectly// <<next>> //ohhhhh what will you do with your time in this one wild and precious life?// <<next>> //and you know what's astonishing now is that everyone, and certainly you, can now see a real person and it feels like a mirror... cause somehow also you're seeing yourselves?// <<next>> //flawed as all hell, but trying, trying, and ultimately wanting to do better and more// <<next>> //and now she is actually thanking us for our patience and generosity and the crowd is solemn and jubilant// <<next>> //you feel deep down though you can't explain why that this is why we all got into it in the first place and this is why we loved her in the first place—we weren't ridiculous to do so// <<next>> //you're having visions of a future, a community, and—// <<next>>//the doors of the $location fling open, people begin to stream in// <<next>> //you start to follow, teary almost, but are ushered in a different direction// <<next>> //of course... the green room... to wait to be called on so you can receive $prize with a full, clear heart// <<next>> [[∞->ushered in to meet icon backstage]] <</timed>> <<audio "apologyspeech" volume 0.60 loop play>>

There's a cool light in the greenroom backstage. Sound from the outside world seem dampened by the material lining the walls. You made it. And honestly, it feels like //everyone's// made it. Like everyone's grown //somehow// through this day. And through that //speech//. A door opens softly behind you. Don't mind me! says a voice. I'm just the assistant, of $name obviously. The assistant appears next to you and puts down a bag. Congratulations, they say. Oh, thank you, you reply. I'm just leaving her bag here. She nearly took it onstage by mistake, the assistant says. Oh, okay, you say. The assistant pauses. Obviously don't look in it, they say. Of course not! you laugh. I'm a fan and $ally. Yes, me too, says the assistant. You know, I just really admire how she handled herself out there today. I know. I wish I had that kind of... I don't know... inner strength? you say. I know right, the assistant says. Actually, did you know she listens to these meditations a lot and says they really help her? She's always telling me to get onto them. Oh, that sounds good, you say. I could probably use one of those right now. You know what? the assistant says. They're all on her extra phone on the table right there—it's not a personal one, don't worry—just for her music and meditations, so you could totally listen while you wait. The assistant pushes the phone towards you, and leaves. You watch them go, alone again. You take a breath, thinking about how your life is going to change forever soon. And after everything that happened today... you no longer feel like you don't deserve it. That's //progress//. To think this morning you were worried about silly things like being on time. Speaking of... there's still a bit of time before you'll be called on. Maybe you could listen to that meditation? [[∞->It's Icon's real self]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You pick up the phone on the table, and turn it on. A notification immediately pops up. It says 'Manager'. Oh. You thought this wasn't a personal phone? The notification disappears. You can see the meditation tracklist is already open. You have the sudden thought that it would be so easy to go into her messages and see what the 'Manager' said. Maybe you could learn something that would make $name like you more and you could become best friends???[[∞->OH NO]] Wait no! //What the fuck//, you haven't come this far to screw everything up like that—what if she found out? You're just going click on the meditation now and step into your own power. [[∞->Meditation the end]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<span class="drunk"> //hey babe// god you have had a day heyyyyyyy contacting u on private cell only as discussed from now on so take some time to rest today and shit but tomorrow we gotta get on top of u know what after today i'm thinking it's a miracle we've gone this long without being <span class="bigger200"> //dolezaled// </span> or jessica kruged or whoever but with all the scruitny ur suddenly getting let's make sure we bury it deep or draw up smeplans to pivot.. just in case people find out ur not yknow - 'a proud woc' would destroy everything we've built prefer option 1 personally xxxxxxxxxxxx p.s thoseapologyghostwriterworth every cent!! great find <span class="bigger200">[[∞->fucktheend]]</span> </span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//Oh yeah. Sorry, you did.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Are you alright? [[∞->Yeah...I literally just said that?]]</span>

<div align='left' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//I'm fine... just wondering about some things.//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Oh? [[∞->Oh?]] </span>

<div align='right' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//Yeah, it just all makes my head hurt sometimes...//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Oh, sure. [[∞->Oh, sure]] </span>

<div align='right' style='font-size: 200%;'><strong>//Yeah... I think I might just go... maybe... yeah...//</strong> </div> <span class="bigger150">Oh, will I see you again? [[∞->that's sweet]] Okay. See ya! [[∞->so eager]] </span>

<div align='center' style='font-size: 1000%;'><strong>YOU'RE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <<timed 2s>><span class="bigger150">[[∞->whatthehellididnothing]] </span><</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

You stare at your phone. Why are people... why are people asking me to— Guy clicks his tongue. It's only right that you give up $prize, he says. This is—how did you even get on $socialmedia just then. I was literally talking to you, you cry. It wasn't him. It was me, says girl. And giving up $prize is the least you could do. Can we just talk about all this? you say. You feel weak. I don't know, says guy. Yeah, says girl. There's really nothing to talk about. [[∞->Uncancelled 1]] <<audio ":all" stop>> <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="popin"> //hiii so... if you're feeling the need for a little zoom-out...you know, i'm here.// [[∞->nextbit2]] </span> </div>

WOW, says girl. Are you telling me what I can and can't do? WOW, says guy. If you're not willing to look at yourself, then we can't help you. Yeah, says girl. I mean, it's super obvious why you're cancelled. It is? you cry. Who else is it obvious to? You start to wonder if the $location is going to call you. Will they take everything away? They're going to take it all away, aren't they? Your throat starts to catch. Please just tell me what I've done, you say. Well, for //me//, it was the way how like, in condemning $name you like actually spelt out what she did again and that's like I wanna say //violent//? says girl. Totally, says guy. And //for me//, I think it was more like how you said you stand with the affected party, and that was like, really presuming who they were, and like leaving out like a lot of //other// parties who could also be affected even though I'm not going to name them all right now... I did really feel for them. Ooooh, says girl, I didn't even think of that side of it. That is //really// important. I'm going to start some dialogue about that omission right now. Girl takes out her phone. No, wait! you cry. I— All of what you said sounds awful—I'm going to do something about it! [[∞->need to fix this]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<span class="bigger150"> UN — BLOODY — CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span> guy yells, interrupting girl before she can finish her sentence. [[∞->nice tram]] <div style="text-align: right;"><span class="popin"> //hiii so... if you're feeling the need for a little zoom-out...you know, i'm here.// [[∞->nextbit3]] </span> </div>

Yeah, girl says, turns out it was like an 'in-community' term or something, and some weird people just got it kinda wrong, I think? Oh, you say. So I guess I was... correct? Wow, says guy. Way to centre yourself at this moment when we //all// should be celebrating $name. As $ally—which you //claim// to be from your posts—I thought you'd know better. You know, I just fricking love the way $name empowers those around her, and like //reclaims// shit you know? girl adds. And I love that //you// love that, guy says. They stare at each other, mouths slightly open, pupils dilating, their breathing growing heavier. //Great//. Just what you need right now. You turn your back to them, and decide to rest your head against a window of the $transport for a bit. Just a little longer till you get to the $location. Just a little... [[∞->fever dream]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

The crowd keeps moving. You take stock of yourself and keep walking. Perhaps there are things more important in life than to receive $prize? No, that sounds weird. Soon you'll turn a corner and be on the steps of the $location. Once you're there, what will you do? Will you forcefully denounce $name and $location forever? [[∞->you are righteous]] <<if visited("You support icon at the first cancel") is 1>>\ or... Do you need to just stop for a second and think about all of this, before you get swept away forever? [[∞->Your final cancel]] <<else>> or... Maybe you can just decide when you get there? [[∞->you are righteous]] <<endif>>\

//What?// Your breath becomes unsteady. You try to scroll through $socialmedia as fast as you can. People are telling you that you're //the problem//. They're saying that people like you who just do nothing or support their idols at any cost are scum. That you're no longer baby. That you've let the prospect of receiving $prize ruin you. That you were raised better than this. Your hand starts to shake. How did all of this start? You scroll even faster, trying to find an answer. And wait, hold on, how does everyone even know about your 'prospect of receiving $prize'?? //That you were raised better than this.// One account seems to be spearheading all of this... //That you're no longer baby.// You peer closer... [[∞->mumsplain]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<div align='center' style='font-size: 800%;'><strong>YOU WERE CANCELLED</strong> </div> <p> <<timed 1s>><div align='center' style='font-size: 600%;'><strong> BY YOUR MUM </strong> </div><</timed>> </p> <<timed 3s>><strong>[[∞->convotoarrive]]</strong> <</timed>> <<audio "cancelnoise" play>>

//What the fuck, mum?// You slide into //your mother's// DMs and start to type. Mum! you write. Why did you do this?? It was for your own good, your mum replies. I did not raise you to be like this. I don't understand, you say. You literally //just// learned how to use $socialmedia today. Wow, your mum says. You're sounding a bit non-inclusive to me. That's not what I meant! you say. You are my large problematic child, she says. And that's not even the right meme! you snap. //Wow//, says your mum. //Okay//. Look, because for some reason I still care about you, here's some advice. You need to go to the march right now if you ever hope to fix this. You stare at the screen, unsure of what to say. And now, continues your mum, I am going to have to shadowbanish you. What? you type. Yes, my followers can't see us interacting, darling, she types back. It would be //very// damaging for my brand. Mum come on, this is ridic! you type. But your message doesn't go through— Because— You've been blocked— By your mother. [[∞->you are righteous]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

The air is cooler and the light dimmer in the alleyway. You eyes adjust. You walk further down, looking for a sign or some outdoor tables. It's strangely empty for a place right in the middle of the city. You feel the tiredness wash over you again, and take a second to lean against a wall. You close your eyes. You know you do want to do what's right, but sometimes... It's like... You know... You feel a tap on your shoulder. [[∞->ghostwriter time]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

<img src=" https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c6a44f48dfc8ca6f2bf4970/5f8ea42507bb71799576202c/5f8ea44dc9e1691d59df2c77/1603183724744/?format=2500w" width="100%"> <div align='center' style='font-size: 300%;'> is never the end if you practice //Loving Cancellation Meditation// </div> <<audio "meditation" play>>

fuck [[∞->every]]

every [[∞->thing]]

thing. [[∞->release me]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You can't believe... [[∞->Begin]]

Ah, yikes, okay... [[∞->time to leave tram]]

You stumble out of the alleyway. In the distance, down the street, you can see a crowd of people turning a corner, just where the $location is. //Huh.// Oh, fuck. The event! You've let too much time go by and destroyed your head start. You're actually in danger of being //late// now. It's going to take too long to walk or catch another $transport. Fuck it. You hail a cab. [[∞->car journey]]

<<cacheaudio "cancelnoise" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/n93ykrjm1rqm2gt/fail%20sound%20effect.mp3?dl=1">>; <<cacheaudio "meditation" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/mphv8p23ie7n9s1/Cancellation%20Meditation.mp3?dl=1">>; <<cacheaudio "problematique" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/o8omquwxlny4gb4/new-gandhi-dance.mp3?dl=1">>; <<cacheaudio "ghostwriter" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/7avozxsvnd4cycz/interior%20delusion%20song.mp3?dl=1">>; <<cacheaudio "apologyspeech" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/xlcdkgkjsgpm3mv/alphington%20tiny%20kingdoms%20synth%20solo%20demo.mp3?dl=1" >>; <<cacheaudio "endmaybe" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/8tlc5qzvztossr2/shark%20anxiety%201.mp3?dl=1">>

<span class="bigger150"><strong>o to be cancelled, but what was it and what even is it now even: [['Why we can't stop fighting about cancel culture' by Aja Romano |https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/12/30/20879720/what-is-cancel-culture-explained-history-debate]] [['Another note on cancel culture' by Jaya Sundaresh | https://jayatime.substack.com/p/20-another-note-on-cancel-culture]] [['A Crying Public Shame' by Soraya Roberts | https://longreads.com/2020/03/12/a-crying-public-shame/]] [['The "Cancel Culture" Con' by Osita Nwanevu | https://newrepublic.com/article/155141/cancel-culture-con-dave-chappelle-shane-gillisbclid=IwAR24ZmTHtIHQJGrJYSRW1ZSfmXzeEEAhZqbWjBUWK4G_8OV5qrFYGikWKvQ]] [['Exiting the Vampire Castle' by Mark Fisher | https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/]] [['Reframing Cancel Culture' by Prem Sai Ramani | https://www.laineygossip.com/reframing-cancel-culture-through-the-lens-of-celebrity-gossip/66606]] </strong> ///////// </span> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->you put phone away]] </span> <div style=padding-left:200px;>i...tend to uh, process [wank alert] by making fictional stuff [ahhhh art a field of expression to explore our depths]. and often by finding what's funny about something. like with cancellation. //cognitive dissonance is funny. hypocrisy is funny. language losing all its meaning is funny (and then, sad too sometimes, and then sometimes scary and weaponisable). the 'k'/'c' sound is //very// funny. all of these are good signs that cancellation should have a one-hour netflix special.// ==and underneath all that funny is maybe the idea that sections of the progressive left who have been twisted by the more capitalist impulses of idpol and lost touch with deeper ideas of transformation or the promise of change or were actually too hmm, privileged [that word...will do for now] to ever be in touch with that maybe? (and if you're writing or reading this, this could be you)...anyway that's funny too. or finding the lightness and ridicule in it a way of understanding it, a kind of in-group way of laughing at and improving ourselves i like to think maybe??== but i can't deny cancelling is now a pretty complex and wild idea in culture, morphing in meaning and social impact. [//when making this, at times i was seized with a fear, that i myself would be cancelled for making this - was i making light of something that could give fuel to the right? it does feel like we're engaged in a particularly existential battle with them at the moment. whether due to the algorithm or reality, which is the same thing. but...the term, the debate, has definitely been pounced on by the right now, and the results are spectacularly craven. but also....i was on tumblr in my youth dammit and i deserve to exorcise and reflect waaaaaaah//] look like i said, making this was a way to think through experience, and to think through fear and contradiction, and to do it with fun, and maybe to test what can be fun. don't listen too long to me though [stop reading this!!] - there's some incredible and interesting writing that should help clarify and deep-dive into it all, much much better. and you deserve that. you can start with the ones above and then the ones below. enjoy!</div> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->you put phone away]] </span> / <span class="bigger150"><strong>on speech and platforms: [['Arguing over the arts is sort of the point' by Sami Shah | https://www.smh.com.au/national/arguing-over-the-arts-is-sort-of-the-point-20200710-p55av0.html]] [['How a Twitter Mob Derailed an Immigrant Female Author's Budding Career' by Jesse Singal | https://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-news-and-politics/279806/how-a-twitter-mob-destroyed-a-young-immigrant-female-authors-budding-career]] [['Milo Yiannopoulos' Facebook rant shows that de-platforming actually works' by Rachel Kraus | https://mashable.com/article/milo-yiannopoulos-deplatforming-alex-jones/]] [['Deplatforming Works' by Jason Koebler | https://www.vice.com/en/article/bjbp9d/do-social-media-bans-work]] [['The Illusion of a “Marketplace of Ideas” and the Right to Truth' by Claudio Lombardi | https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2019/02/the-illusion-of-a-marketplace-of-ideas-and-the-right-to-truth/]] </strong></span> /////////

<span class="bigger150"><strong>o to be cancelled, but what was it and what even is it now even: [['Why we can't stop fighting about cancel culture' by Aja Romano |https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/12/30/20879720/what-is-cancel-culture-explained-history-debate]] [['Another note on cancel culture' by Jaya Sundaresh | https://jayatime.substack.com/p/20-another-note-on-cancel-culture]] [['A Crying Public Shame' by Soraya Roberts | https://longreads.com/2020/03/12/a-crying-public-shame/]] [['The "Cancel Culture" Con' by Osita Nwanevu | https://newrepublic.com/article/155141/cancel-culture-con-dave-chappelle-shane-gillisbclid=IwAR24ZmTHtIHQJGrJYSRW1ZSfmXzeEEAhZqbWjBUWK4G_8OV5qrFYGikWKvQ]] [['Exiting the Vampire Castle' by Mark Fisher | https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/]] [['Reframing Cancel Culture' by Prem Sai Ramani | https://www.laineygossip.com/reframing-cancel-culture-through-the-lens-of-celebrity-gossip/66606]] </strong> ///////// </span> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->whatthehellididnothing]] </span> <div style=padding-left:200px;>i...tend to uh, process [wank alert] by making fictional stuff [ahhhh art a field of expression to explore our depths]. and often by finding what's funny about something. like with cancellation. //cognitive dissonance is funny. hypocrisy is funny. language losing all its meaning is funny (and then, sad too sometimes, and then sometimes scary and weaponisable). the 'k'/'c' sound is //very// funny. all of these are good signs that cancellation should have a one-hour netflix special.// ==and underneath all that funny is maybe the idea that sections of the progressive left who have been twisted by the more capitalist impulses of idpol and lost touch with deeper ideas of transformation or the promise of change or were actually too hmm, privileged [that word...will do for now] to ever be in touch with that maybe? (and if you're writing or reading this, this could be you)...anyway that's funny too. or finding the lightness and ridicule in it a way of understanding it, a kind of in-group way of laughing at and improving ourselves i like to think maybe??== but i can't deny cancelling is now a pretty complex and wild idea in culture, morphing in meaning and social impact. [//when making this, at times i was seized with a fear, that i myself would be cancelled for making this - was i making light of something that could give fuel to the right? it does feel like we're engaged in a particularly existential battle with them at the moment. whether due to the algorithm or reality, which is the same thing. but...the term, the debate, has definitely been pounced on by the right now, and the results are spectacularly craven. but also....i was on tumblr in my youth dammit and i deserve to exorcise and reflect waaaaaaah//] look like i said, making this was a way to think through experience, and to think through fear and contradiction, and to do it with fun, and maybe to test what can be fun. don't listen too long to me though [stop reading this!!] - there's some incredible and interesting writing that should help clarify and deep-dive into it all, much much better. and you deserve that. you can start with the ones above and then the ones below. enjoy!</div> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->whatthehellididnothing]] </span> / <span class="bigger150"><strong>on speech and platforms: [['Arguing over the arts is sort of the point' by Sami Shah | https://www.smh.com.au/national/arguing-over-the-arts-is-sort-of-the-point-20200710-p55av0.html]] [['How a Twitter Mob Derailed an Immigrant Female Author's Budding Career' by Jesse Singal | https://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-news-and-politics/279806/how-a-twitter-mob-destroyed-a-young-immigrant-female-authors-budding-career]] [['Milo Yiannopoulos' Facebook rant shows that de-platforming actually works' by Rachel Kraus | https://mashable.com/article/milo-yiannopoulos-deplatforming-alex-jones/]] [['Deplatforming Works' by Jason Koebler | https://www.vice.com/en/article/bjbp9d/do-social-media-bans-work]] [['The Illusion of a “Marketplace of Ideas” and the Right to Truth' by Claudio Lombardi | https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2019/02/the-illusion-of-a-marketplace-of-ideas-and-the-right-to-truth/]] </strong></span> /////////

<span class="bigger150"><strong>o to be cancelled, but what was it and what even is it now even: [['Why we can't stop fighting about cancel culture' by Aja Romano |https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/12/30/20879720/what-is-cancel-culture-explained-history-debate]] [['Another note on cancel culture' by Jaya Sundaresh | https://jayatime.substack.com/p/20-another-note-on-cancel-culture]] [['A Crying Public Shame' by Soraya Roberts | https://longreads.com/2020/03/12/a-crying-public-shame/]] [['The "Cancel Culture" Con' by Osita Nwanevu | https://newrepublic.com/article/155141/cancel-culture-con-dave-chappelle-shane-gillisbclid=IwAR24ZmTHtIHQJGrJYSRW1ZSfmXzeEEAhZqbWjBUWK4G_8OV5qrFYGikWKvQ]] [['Exiting the Vampire Castle' by Mark Fisher | https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/]] [['Reframing Cancel Culture' by Prem Sai Ramani | https://www.laineygossip.com/reframing-cancel-culture-through-the-lens-of-celebrity-gossip/66606]] </strong> ///////// </span> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->uncancelled support 1]] </span> <div style=padding-left:200px;>i...tend to uh, process [wank alert] by making fictional stuff [ahhhh art a field of expression to explore our depths]. and often by finding what's funny about something. like with cancellation. //cognitive dissonance is funny. hypocrisy is funny. language losing all its meaning is funny (and then, sad too sometimes, and then sometimes scary and weaponisable). the 'k'/'c' sound is //very// funny. all of these are good signs that cancellation should have a one-hour netflix special.// ==and underneath all that funny is maybe the idea that sections of the progressive left who have been twisted by the more capitalist impulses of idpol and lost touch with deeper ideas of transformation or the promise of change or were actually too hmm, privileged [that word...will do for now] to ever be in touch with that maybe? (and if you're writing or reading this, this could be you)...anyway that's funny too. or finding the lightness and ridicule in it a way of understanding it, a kind of in-group way of laughing at and improving ourselves i like to think maybe??== but i can't deny cancelling is now a pretty complex and wild idea in culture, morphing in meaning and social impact. [//when making this, at times i was seized with a fear, that i myself would be cancelled for making this - was i making light of something that could give fuel to the right? it does feel like we're engaged in a particularly existential battle with them at the moment. whether due to the algorithm or reality, which is the same thing. but...the term, the debate, has definitely been pounced on by the right now, and the results are spectacularly craven. but also....i was on tumblr in my youth dammit and i deserve to exorcise and reflect waaaaaaah//] look like i said, making this was a way to think through experience, and to think through fear and contradiction, and to do it with fun, and maybe to test what can be fun. don't listen too long to me though [stop reading this!!] - there's some incredible and interesting writing that should help clarify and deep-dive into it all, much much better. and you deserve that. you can start with the ones above and then the ones below. enjoy!</div> <span class="bigger200">[[∞->uncancelled support 1]] </span> / <span class="bigger150"><strong>on speech and platforms: [['Arguing over the arts is sort of the point' by Sami Shah | https://www.smh.com.au/national/arguing-over-the-arts-is-sort-of-the-point-20200710-p55av0.html]] [['How a Twitter Mob Derailed an Immigrant Female Author's Budding Career' by Jesse Singal | https://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-news-and-politics/279806/how-a-twitter-mob-destroyed-a-young-immigrant-female-authors-budding-career]] [['Milo Yiannopoulos' Facebook rant shows that de-platforming actually works' by Rachel Kraus | https://mashable.com/article/milo-yiannopoulos-deplatforming-alex-jones/]] [['Deplatforming Works' by Jason Koebler | https://www.vice.com/en/article/bjbp9d/do-social-media-bans-work]] [['The Illusion of a “Marketplace of Ideas” and the Right to Truth' by Claudio Lombardi | https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2019/02/the-illusion-of-a-marketplace-of-ideas-and-the-right-to-truth/]] </strong></span> /////////

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Who would have thought this could happen to you? Maybe deep down you believed you would be properly recognised some day, but to receive this? No, you can't think like that. You just have to believe that you deserve to receive <<cycle "$prize" autoselect>> <<option "this highly coveted mentorship">> <<option "this award for your work even though you haven't even produced that much work yet">> <<option "this acknowledgment by your peers (and those better than your peers)">> <</cycle>>. After all, all these people sitting around you probably wanted it as well. Just look at them on their phones, scrolling and refreshing <<cycle "$socialmedia" autoselect>> <<option "Twimtit">> <<option "Wimtter">> <<option "Taintytaint">> <</cycle>>. If only your <<cycle "$enemies" autoselect>> <<option "childhood bullies">> <<option "ex">> <<option "friends who seem to hang out without you sometimes">> <<option "peers who you hang with all the time (but do any of you actually like each other?)">> <</cycle>> could see you now. Of course, the //best// and //most important// part of all this... [[∞->Last before informed of cancel 1]]

Oh! says girl, turning to look right at you. I meant to say earlier, congrats on that thing that you won or something? I know guy would totally kill to be in your place. You know me so well babe, guy whispers. Yeah, it's like... we've //always// known each other, girl whispers back. They start to make out. You turn away, suddenly tired. You let your head find the cool glass of a $transport window. You close your eyes for a second, and feel the sunlight dancing across your face. Not long to go till the event now... [[∞->fever dream]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

Your forehead glistens. You feel shaky, but somehow clear. The $transport hurtles closer to the city. You look around for guy and girl to share your growth (and triumph), but ythey are too busy making out. Finger me, girl whispers to guy. Only if you choose the finger, he whispers back. I'm a feminist, he adds. My body, your choice. You look away quickly so as to not vomit, and stare out the window. A feeling of goodness and euphoria begins to creep over you. Your phone starts to buzz softly, and then, more wildly. //Weird//. It's probably people praising your brave gesture. You take a look. [[∞->post apology reveal your cancel]] <<audio ":all" stop>>

You feel good about this. Yeah. But //should// you? This could also backfire big time, actually. Statements like these often do. And though this hasn't happened yet... what if the $location cancels $name of their own accord? And then you get lumped in with her? And then it's ALL over forever??? Your phone starts buzzing wildly. //Oh fuck. You fucked it.// Your phone keeps buzzing, and buzzing. You take it out... and look. [[∞->phone buzz you've supported]]

The second is your mum telling you that she's signed up for a $socialmedia account. //Why?// Oh, so she can follow along at the event and really feel like she's there. That's kind of nice. [[∞->memes mum]]

The next nine are memes she's individually screenshotted and pasted in the body of nine separate emails. Sure. [[∞->the twelfth]]

The twelfth... is an email from the $location! They're thanking you (quietly for now, they add) for your support of $name and confirming that the event is proceeding!! You breathe out, and smile again. It feels good to be you today. HEY, says a voice. What the fuck are you smiling at? [[∞->phone again]]

Whoa!!!! says guy. Did you just like, post this on $socialmedia right now? This profile looks like it's you. He thrusts his phone towards your face. You can see your recent post on the screen. Ummm, yeah, that's me, you say. They narrow their eyes. In unison, they reach for their phones. You try to think fast. What can you say to stop them? Should you stick with your instincts or... oh no, they're already typing. WAIT! you yell. Let's not make this worse, I was just trying to be a nice person and— [[∞->whew]]

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